I have heard many times that our lives unfold as we are destined. That we are born with purpose and reason and that things happen as written in the stars. Things and events are predetermined. Is that really so? An old proverb says: “man is turning and life turns”. What about our free will? Don’t we influence the development of life ourselves with our decisions, choices and beliefs?
I also thought a lot about this topic during the treatment. If destiny exists, why did I land here in the hospital? What is the purpose of my life? Did I have to overcome my addiction to be able to build new and better foundations for the future? Or maybe I just didn’t know how to listen and I was acting against myself all the time. Addiction could be the result of lifestyle and running away from responsibility and growing up.
But destiny can also be an excuse for everything that happens to us. An excuse for all the problems we don’t know how or can’t solve. As well as for situations in which we find ourselves and find no real reason for them. The belief I have formed about the meaning of destiny is that I believe in destiny, but not in its complete determination. I think it is determined (or we have chosen so) what we would like to learn and what we want to test ourselves in this life. But still, we have free will and power to change things.
I know that belief in destiny can be a kind of defense mechanism that is triggered when dealing with failure. When a man tries to success, he fails. He tries several times, but fails. Failure is hard to come to terms with and many give in to fate. They take solace in the phrase “it was not meant for me.” With each retry, there is less hope and weaker self-confidence, and the chances of failure increase. Guilt is easiest to attribute to “higher” force or fate.
The psychotherapist I visited says it doesn’t matter if we believe in fate or not.
˝If you believe in destiny and it helps you, continue to believe in it. If you think that destiny does not exist and that works better for you, also continue˝.
Belief in destiny has as much power as we allow it ourselves. It can have tremendous power. It can affect us positively or negatively, but only if we truly believe. Positive thoughts are extremely important in our lives because they affect our unconscious. If we believe that our destiny will be beautiful, positive and worth the effort, there is a very high probability that it will truly be so.
Ever since I accepted addiction as a part of myself and the path of overcoming addiction as my destiny, positive and amazing things have been happening more often.
The last such experience was unexpected and very special. A business routine meeting, which is expected to last 10 to 15 minutes, proved to be a two-hour therapy. The conversation “forced” me to admit my problems about addiction from the very beginning. I also told that I had undergone hospital treatment for addiction and that it was one of the best decisions in my life. Then things turned around. I noticed that the person sitting opposite me was touched by my words. He gave me a deep look that spoke more than a thousand words. Is this possible? The next two hours were amazing. Two complete strangers exchanged life stories with all the darkest details and unpleasant truths. I came across a “gambler” soul, felt it, and trusted it in an instant. We did not have to explain the behaviors, events, feelings, and doubts we experienced. Everything matched. I wondered if this was fate? Were we meant to meet? I met a wonderful person who has been struggling with addiction for half of his life. I felt a great desire of my interlocutor for a transformation. He is directing his energy in solving his problems that arose and he would like to find peace in his soul. I completely understood him.
But something that began to develop in early childhood intensified in youth and expressed itself forcefully in the transition to adulthood. This something is the complicated mind of gamblers. So if something develops for so long, even resolving, getting to know and accepting it is not easy. Accepting and arranging something that is deeply rooted in our personality is a process that takes many years.